Update: Apparently my girlfriend is better at the Internet than I am.
http://www.smartvoter.org/2008/11/04/pa/state/
This site will also display the information you crave. She wins a free plug:
http://dubyahteeeff.blogspot.com
-------------------------
Thought I'd jump back on the ol' web log to be a good American. We're supposed to be democratizing tomorrow and I'm anxious as a slug to let my .0000001% of a vote count. I think we all know by now who's getting our presidential vote (LHC 08), but what many people may not realize is that all those people listed after John McCain and Barack Obama are running their own mud-slinging campaigns and we're neglecting our democratic duty by ignoring them and their slander.
Some co-workers and I recently tried to find a list of all candidates running for state and local positions, only to find out that is the only thing you can't get on the Internet. You can pirate movies that aren't even filmed yet, but try to easily find a comprehensive list of every political competition in your area. I mean, the tried and true method of pulling the all-democrat or all-republican lever holds up pretty well, as does making your picks based on the candidates names (Cheeses Christ vs. Bob Satan... hm, that Bob Satan seems too concerned with spreading my wealth around), but wouldn't it be nice to actually know a thing or two about who's running before the election? Well, thanks to the fine people over at Blog of Geis, now you can (if you're in Allegheny County, that is). You can hit that link or take a look at the relevant sample ballot I copied from the post below. You'll still have to do your research on these candidates, and you only have one night to do it now, but I think a good hour is really all you need to choose our future leaders. If you think too far into it, you'll get bored and realize the Choose-Based-On-Their-Names method is way better. Ballot to follow:
Presidential Electors:
Barack Obama / Joe Biden | Democratic
John McCain / Sarah Palin | Republican
Ralph Nadar / Matt Gonzalez | Independent
Bob Barr / Wayne A. Root | Libertarian
Attorney General:
John M. Morganelli | Democratic
Tom Corbett | Republican
Marakay J. Rogers | Libertarian
Representative in Congress:
Steve O'Donnell | Democratic
Tim Murphy | Republican
Senator in the General Assembly:
Jay Costa, Jr. | Democratic
Representative in the General Assembly:
Paul Costa | Democratic
Auditor General:
Jack Wagner | Democratic
Chet Beiler | Republican
Betsy Summers | Libertarian
State Treasurer:
Robert McCord | Democratic
Tom Ellis | Republican
Berlie Etzel | Libertarian
Just when I thought it wasn't possible to squeeze another cent from the 'green' movement, I was proven horribly wrong:
If you want to reduce your web browser's carbon footprint and not click that link, here are some gems:
“If you look at your typical modern cemetery, it functions less as a natural, bucolic resting ground for the dead than as a landfill of largely nonbiodegradable—and in some cases toxic—material,” said Mark Harris, author of a book about green funeral practices, to The Indianapolis Star.
Does it, Mark? Not from my experience. Any and all relatives of mine that have passed were buried with conservation and the environment in mind. We use styrofoam coffins (filled, of course, with endless packing peanuts to prevent damage while jostling) and bury the deceased in holes dug with bald eagle bone shovels. We burn the grass away from the area with a pesticide cocktail and cover it with whale skin (to preserve the dirt). After the resting place is satisfactory, we fire a 7-can Aerosol salute into the air to commemorate the life of our loved one. Finally, we use an SUV with a full tank of gas as a tombstone, set to idle indefinitely. Asshole.
Did this tool really write a book on green funeral practices? Wow, he sure did:
Thank you, warrior of the Earth, for setting us right. My $16.32 is on the way... please instruct me further in the ways of dealing with my baby boomer insincere guilt.
"Do we need to expend that kind of energy on a box we are going to use for one or two days and then bury forever?” said Joe Sehee, executive director of the Green Burial Council, a group that advocates for green end-of-life practices.
Yes.
Julian Atkinson, who runs what he claims is the U.K.'s first carbon-neutral coffin manufacturing operation, is trying to convince consumers that his locally made coffins, built from certified sustainable wood, are more environmentally friendly than imported willow or bamboo coffins "of uncertain provenance that are shipped halfway around the world."
Why must he claim they're the first? Because this is almost entirely about money and cashing in on a trend. In some cases, that's a good thing. The snake-like tendencies of businesses to ride the green train to move some more product has probably caused them to accidentally do something good at times, but let's be honest with ourselves. This all stems from some sort of guilt we as a people possess... we take up this epic task of protecting the Earth; not because we really care about this giant rock, but because we need to feel noble and just. Look, our advances in industry certainly have had their wear and tear on the environment, but we're getting better at it and refining our methods. No need to fret... plus, if we mess it up too bad, we now have a giant reset switch that can fix it all:
That's science friends. All our carbon footprints over the years - large as they may be - have led us to develop THE LARGE HADRON COLLIDER, and for that, I think the Earth is pretty grateful. In fact, just last week, Earth had this to say:
Hey guys! My ozones are fine... no biggie! Thanks for the LARGE HADRON COLLIDER!!! -e
11 September 2008
Because we're going to have plenty of this stuff for the next two months until the election is over, I'm going to make a final post, finally declaring who I will be voting for come November. After this, political rants will be few and far between.
It's certainly not John McCain. The man is simply an out of touch (and I apologize for the harsh language) old fart. It seems like every week there's some new cancerous growth being carved off him like a Thanksgiving ham - I fear by the time the election rolls around there will be nothing left. It is admirable that he doesn't let himself get bogged down by the complexities of the economy, but I don't think it's enough for me.
It's certainly not Barack Obama. We all know he's a charismatic son of a bee, and he seems to have a good head on his shoulders, but I've expressed concern about him from day one. It's not about his religious background or the color of his skin or even his attempts to force his silly Healthcare system upon me. It's definitely not his middle name, either. No, it's actually his first name that scares me. We've all played Mortal Kombat. Would you vote for this?
No, I imagine you would not. Until he appoints Liu Kang as his VP to take him to task, his Blade-conomics don't belong in our White House.
So who does that leave you ask? Only the candidate that has been most steadfast in his beliefs from the start and can truly make a difference in this world. The candidate I will be voting for won't use terrorism to bully us or take away our liberty. If you all followed this candidate as closely as I did, you would all be voting for... nay, worshipping him come November. If it's truly "Change we can believe in" that you want, on November 4th, please support...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.... The Large Hadron Collider!
Let's see Barack Obama recreate conditions that last prevailed when the universe was less than a trillionth of a second old. So what if John McCain has the capability to start World War III... the Large Hadron Collider has the capability to eat the world! On this very day, the Large Hadron Collider initiated the best campaign platform ever witnessed: "Vote for me and I won't create a black hole!" In fact, it's a well known fact that the Large Hadron Collider impregnated Bristol Palin. So go ahead... vote for John McCain... LHC will still have his seed in the White House one way or another.
Large Hadron Collider 2008
10 September 2008
I'm a fan of rhythm games, notably your Guitar Heroes, your Rock Bands, and to a much lesser extent, your Dance Dance Revolutions. I'm also a fan of movies. However, never in my right mind would I propose a game called Movie Hero, in which you create movies based on a series of bars moving across the screen. That's ludicrous. Equally as batshit-crazy would be a movie based on one of the rhythm games above. Brett Ratner disagrees.
"I love ‘Guitar Hero’ and I think it’s a part of pop culture. I would love to do a ‘Guitar Hero’ movie, if Activision would ever let me."There needs to be a man whose only job in the world is to study the news and look for people with stupid ideas. He would then promptly travel to the locations of these silly gooses, slap them in the mouth, and discipline them like a dog making stain on the new carpet. Maybe rub their noses in it if it gets the point across.
29 August 2008
I've decided to return to the world of "web logging." This is primarily due to the fact that I have no backbone and if other people do something, I absolutely have to follow like an ugly little sheep.
That being said, it's difficult returning to this and trying to determine exactly what to write about. I'm about to try some Goji Berry Green Tea, so that's one option. The fact that people don't take a gentleman drinking from a sippy cup seriously is another (a man shouldn't be bothered to regulate the transfer of fluid between cup and mouth). My peers though have all taken the political route, so I feel I must touch upon that first. This certainly won't be comprehensive; consider it more a summary of my thoughts since I last complained about a lawmaker.
The DNC is in progress as I write, and much like the Olympics, the majority of what I caught live has been read via captions on bar TVs. I have been keeping up the day after reading transcripts and watching some of the more prominent speakers. Some thoughts:
Problem is, he's the only man that logically can beat him at this point, so if you're not fully on the Obama-boat, there's sort of a sour aftertaste to this whole thing. I want to like and support Obama, and to a degree, I do. As far as inspiration, hope, motivation and all-around good feelings go, we haven't seen anyone like him in quite some time; some might argue that when running a country, those are useless traits, but I disagree. We need that now more than ever, especially with our turd of an economy, currently dork of a president, and constant meddling in nearly every conflict across the world. And at the very least, I think Obama is respected enough worldwide to maybe get us some real allies again.
However, as far as real change goes, I'm more pessimistic. Some policies of his have already undergone "refinements" since eliminating Clinton from the race and I don't think we've seen the end of it. I'll cite more of these and discuss them at a later date, but I'm referring to FISA and his foreign policy regarding our current and potential conflicts. I don't think he's been trying to deceive us or anything, but in order to make it to where he is today, corners have to be cut and a lot of people have to be pleased. We could be positive and believe it's only happening to get into the White House and from there, it's a surfboard down the Allegheny river of change (that was a blatant Derek White and the Monophobics plug), but there'll always be more people to please and more BS to shovel, so I guess only time will tell. Nothing would please me more than to be proven wrong and have egg spread about my face.
Ultimately, those who know me where my allegiance falls and despite a wall of futility, I am an unwavering Ron Paul fan. The problem is that all the reasons I am a fan of him are exactly why he couldn't win in the system we have in place today. A guy who calls all his pig coworkers out on their faults and wants to transfer power away from him and those around him would never stand a chance in this race, because I think the system has, over the years, crafted itself to keep guys like him out. Maybe that's why I'm so skeptical of Obama, because I question what he did to make it so far in this rigged game.
Say what you will though, RP does not waiver in his convictions or beliefs and if it means polling at 5% or lower, he refuses to particiate in politics as usual. Whether that's intelligent or fool-hardy, I don't know, but he had this to say about the election and DNC so far.
And if you want to talk about consistency, here's another video from 2002. Listen closely to the last 15 seconds or so.
That being said, it's difficult returning to this and trying to determine exactly what to write about. I'm about to try some Goji Berry Green Tea, so that's one option. The fact that people don't take a gentleman drinking from a sippy cup seriously is another (a man shouldn't be bothered to regulate the transfer of fluid between cup and mouth). My peers though have all taken the political route, so I feel I must touch upon that first. This certainly won't be comprehensive; consider it more a summary of my thoughts since I last complained about a lawmaker.
The DNC is in progress as I write, and much like the Olympics, the majority of what I caught live has been read via captions on bar TVs. I have been keeping up the day after reading transcripts and watching some of the more prominent speakers. Some thoughts:
- Hillary spoke intelligently and well. She knows how to play the politics game far better than Obama and if that was a game I felt was worth winning, I would certainly vote for her. Her speech was far from a selfless sacrifice for the greater good though... she pissed off a lot of people with her refusal to quit some months ago and if she didn't throw herself fully behind Barry O., it could've split the hell out of the party and the election would've gone to McSame (lol! Cuz he's like Bush!!!!!1!), thus ruining any future she has with the Democrats. If Obama screws up in the future and she can gain from it, she will certainly capitalize.
- Bill Clinton is very handsome.
- I still don't like Biden. I never have from the beginning of this race, and it's not just me trying to hate what's popular, as I have a fondness for doing. I plan on having a blog just for the shifty bastard at a later date, but to me, he has a big Romney-factor of being very good at saying what people want to hear but not really doing anything. His voting record, especially regarding technology and privacy (two big issues of mine), isn't preferred. He often sides with government organziations in matters of privacy (see voting record involving the Patriot Act, as well as a predecessor of it, the Omnibus Counterterrorism Act of 1995). Granted, this was all more in the past and he has been coming around lately, but as I said, don't totally trust the guy.
Problem is, he's the only man that logically can beat him at this point, so if you're not fully on the Obama-boat, there's sort of a sour aftertaste to this whole thing. I want to like and support Obama, and to a degree, I do. As far as inspiration, hope, motivation and all-around good feelings go, we haven't seen anyone like him in quite some time; some might argue that when running a country, those are useless traits, but I disagree. We need that now more than ever, especially with our turd of an economy, currently dork of a president, and constant meddling in nearly every conflict across the world. And at the very least, I think Obama is respected enough worldwide to maybe get us some real allies again.
However, as far as real change goes, I'm more pessimistic. Some policies of his have already undergone "refinements" since eliminating Clinton from the race and I don't think we've seen the end of it. I'll cite more of these and discuss them at a later date, but I'm referring to FISA and his foreign policy regarding our current and potential conflicts. I don't think he's been trying to deceive us or anything, but in order to make it to where he is today, corners have to be cut and a lot of people have to be pleased. We could be positive and believe it's only happening to get into the White House and from there, it's a surfboard down the Allegheny river of change (that was a blatant Derek White and the Monophobics plug), but there'll always be more people to please and more BS to shovel, so I guess only time will tell. Nothing would please me more than to be proven wrong and have egg spread about my face.
Ultimately, those who know me where my allegiance falls and despite a wall of futility, I am an unwavering Ron Paul fan. The problem is that all the reasons I am a fan of him are exactly why he couldn't win in the system we have in place today. A guy who calls all his pig coworkers out on their faults and wants to transfer power away from him and those around him would never stand a chance in this race, because I think the system has, over the years, crafted itself to keep guys like him out. Maybe that's why I'm so skeptical of Obama, because I question what he did to make it so far in this rigged game.
Say what you will though, RP does not waiver in his convictions or beliefs and if it means polling at 5% or lower, he refuses to particiate in politics as usual. Whether that's intelligent or fool-hardy, I don't know, but he had this to say about the election and DNC so far.
And if you want to talk about consistency, here's another video from 2002. Listen closely to the last 15 seconds or so.
28 August 2008
First order of business. If you're reading this and haven't seen There Will Be Blood yet, you're just being lazy and hurting yourself. It's one of the most incredible films I've seen in many a year, and I suspect it has a shot of hanging up there permanently with some of cinema's finest. Possibly the most obvious reason for its brilliance is attributed to Daniel Day-Lewis. The man's acting chops are really just untouchable. If there's any question how ridiculous he was in this movie, take a gander at this article, or just read my conveniently relevant quotes from it:
Overshadowed by Day-Lewis, but never to be forgotten, Paul Dano also made a spectacular showing in the movie. You might remember him from his role of Dwayne in Little Miss Sunshine, Brian in Fast Food Nation, or more importantly, young Klitz from The Girl Next Door (read: under appreciated comedy).
Actors alone can't make such genius. Luckily everything about There Will be Blood was breathtaking, but I place extreme emphasis on the mood. Never before have I felt such a sense of impending doom and tragedy approaching in a film that certain parts just made me uncomfortable and nervous. It certainly isn't a movie to take your best gal to in hopes of necking afterwards. You'll be in for some emotional work. The layers of religious, social and moral allegory are all there and can be enjoyed on any level you want. On one hand, it's an intense and personal character study of a violent oil prospector circa-1900; on the other, it's an investigation into the roots of evil and greed. Prevalent through whatever movie you want to see though, is the music. Directly captivating that mood I described, the soundtrack was composed by Jonny Greenwood of Radiohead fame. It's primarily made up of dissonant strings and loud piano chords that seem like they'd be a better fit for a horror film. One scene in particular offered a tremendous amount of chaos on-screen... fires, people running about, severe injuries, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria. Making it all the more eerie was a collection of random, building percussion that heightened what was already a mountain of nerves.
Basically, see the film or you don't support the troops.
Ending on another entertainment note, I saw Kevin Devine for what was my 3rd time this weekend. Playing without the Goddamn Band, he gave a good hour or so of well-crafted acoustic awesome, even with broken strings and technical problems out the wazoo. I don't want to be the one to tell you how to live your life, but if you don't pick up his newest cd Put Your Ghost to Rest, as well as Make the Clocks Move and Split the Country, Split the Streets, God will hate you. And if you're an atheist or agnostic... well, God will hate you too. And he'll tell Jesus to punch you.
...rumours circulate in Hollywood that one co-star quit the movie in disgust after branding Day-Lewis "crazy and intimidating".
Another claimed this week that in one fight scene in a bowling alley, the star pummelled him for real with bowling balls.
...
For the part of Daniel Plainview in There Will Be Blood, he refused to speak to his co-stars off the set, and insisted on living in a tent on a deserted Texas oilfield when the cameras stopped rolling.
Overshadowed by Day-Lewis, but never to be forgotten, Paul Dano also made a spectacular showing in the movie. You might remember him from his role of Dwayne in Little Miss Sunshine, Brian in Fast Food Nation, or more importantly, young Klitz from The Girl Next Door (read: under appreciated comedy).
Actors alone can't make such genius. Luckily everything about There Will be Blood was breathtaking, but I place extreme emphasis on the mood. Never before have I felt such a sense of impending doom and tragedy approaching in a film that certain parts just made me uncomfortable and nervous. It certainly isn't a movie to take your best gal to in hopes of necking afterwards. You'll be in for some emotional work. The layers of religious, social and moral allegory are all there and can be enjoyed on any level you want. On one hand, it's an intense and personal character study of a violent oil prospector circa-1900; on the other, it's an investigation into the roots of evil and greed. Prevalent through whatever movie you want to see though, is the music. Directly captivating that mood I described, the soundtrack was composed by Jonny Greenwood of Radiohead fame. It's primarily made up of dissonant strings and loud piano chords that seem like they'd be a better fit for a horror film. One scene in particular offered a tremendous amount of chaos on-screen... fires, people running about, severe injuries, dogs and cats living together - mass hysteria. Making it all the more eerie was a collection of random, building percussion that heightened what was already a mountain of nerves.
Basically, see the film or you don't support the troops.
Ending on another entertainment note, I saw Kevin Devine for what was my 3rd time this weekend. Playing without the Goddamn Band, he gave a good hour or so of well-crafted acoustic awesome, even with broken strings and technical problems out the wazoo. I don't want to be the one to tell you how to live your life, but if you don't pick up his newest cd Put Your Ghost to Rest, as well as Make the Clocks Move and Split the Country, Split the Streets, God will hate you. And if you're an atheist or agnostic... well, God will hate you too. And he'll tell Jesus to punch you.
28 January 2008
Here's how that wonderful game, "Politics," works over here.
Louisiana Republican Caucus
In the end, this doesn't really amount to anything, except providing an example of how ridiculous our system is (both on the left and right, mind you).
Louisiana Republican Caucus
In the end, this doesn't really amount to anything, except providing an example of how ridiculous our system is (both on the left and right, mind you).
24 January 2008
Last post I mentioned There Will Be Blood and how I was going to explain its amazingness. In an effort to be inconsistent, I'm not going to do that.
This sums up apparently what has been going on all week and what is supposed to go down today around 6:00 EST. A group of hackers called Anonymous, as well as various smaller groups have been been waging small attacks against Scientology-based websites and newsgroups.
"Anonymous" releases statements outlining "War on Scientology"
The main site, www.scientology.org, was brought down for a period of time and videos have been released promising the destruction of Scientology.
I haven't been following this too closely, but I couldn't be more pleased with the situation. What are probably 18- to 30-year old guys who spell with numbers and slashes, and care only about the Linux penguin and Counterstrike, are our freedom fighters in the war against a religion/cult based on aliens and secret levels of spirituality that are only accessible through paying more. Something is out of hand here, and I'm not totally sure what it is. I just hope this doesn't drive Tom Cruise further over the edge. He might eat his child.
This sums up apparently what has been going on all week and what is supposed to go down today around 6:00 EST. A group of hackers called Anonymous, as well as various smaller groups have been been waging small attacks against Scientology-based websites and newsgroups.
"Anonymous" releases statements outlining "War on Scientology"
The main site, www.scientology.org, was brought down for a period of time and videos have been released promising the destruction of Scientology.
I haven't been following this too closely, but I couldn't be more pleased with the situation. What are probably 18- to 30-year old guys who spell with numbers and slashes, and care only about the Linux penguin and Counterstrike, are our freedom fighters in the war against a religion/cult based on aliens and secret levels of spirituality that are only accessible through paying more. Something is out of hand here, and I'm not totally sure what it is. I just hope this doesn't drive Tom Cruise further over the edge. He might eat his child.
So I was gonna go on here and say a few words about Fred Thompson dropping out of the GOP race, but I came across this bomb that seems to have spread everywhere in a matter of hours: Actor Heath Ledger found dead
So instead, I'll suggest you man-up, go give Brokeback Mountain and Ten Things I Hate About You a rent, and admit they're fantastic movies. Then, anxiously anticipate The Dark Knight (assuming it will still be released), because there's no doubt in my mind that Heath Ledger will have redefined the Joker's character. RIP to a fantastic actor who no doubt had way more in him than we even got to see.
Tune in later for boring political rants.
So instead, I'll suggest you man-up, go give Brokeback Mountain and Ten Things I Hate About You a rent, and admit they're fantastic movies. Then, anxiously anticipate The Dark Knight (assuming it will still be released), because there's no doubt in my mind that Heath Ledger will have redefined the Joker's character. RIP to a fantastic actor who no doubt had way more in him than we even got to see.
Tune in later for boring political rants.
22 January 2008
...while your magazine may've hit rock-bottom since it's heyday in the mid- to late-90s, your website has certainly sky-rocketed straight up.
The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters
(No, Internet, I'm not racist, but the absurdity of stereotypes paired with a collection of witty quips is win)
After you've read that article, be sure to check out the comments below it for some great lessons on fun-ruining and parade-raining. For example (my comments in bold):
The 9 Most Racist Disney Characters
(No, Internet, I'm not racist, but the absurdity of stereotypes paired with a collection of witty quips is win)
After you've read that article, be sure to check out the comments below it for some great lessons on fun-ruining and parade-raining. For example (my comments in bold):
Way to fight the good fight, Self-Righteous Guy.
The article isn't nearly as funny as all the comments. It's a perfect avenue, like most issues, to sit on the fence, especially when replying to so many different things (at this point we realize this guy is serious business). Yes, of course this is all stretched, but it screams deliberation too, and therefore is a little too easy to swing on either side. Take it as lightly as you want, sure, but there's one point that no one (at least recently, I only skimmed around 10 posts) seems to have made- you have to all remember these are LITTLE KIDS. Does that make it alright for a book to say that native americans achieved their skin tone by blushing, or that a slave is blissfully complacent in his situation, after the Civil War? Racism's a cozy blanket (lol, what?), but this is worse- instilling awful misconceptions (in retrospect at seventeen, the lame creativity can be acknowledged, occasionally appreciated, but while you're at the typical Disney age?) is just not done. (If you're still awake, good job) Yes, you might be remembering Tintin in the Congo with this whole "it was written in that age" business, but that doesn't justify Disney's remakes. It's not just being an Indian in this context- though I was an easy victim of Pocahontas. "Oh wow you're Indian, do you live in a teepee?!" (Imagine the bitter and impatient scowl on this kid's face after being asked that for the 100th time in his life) was the first thing thrust at me in second grade. It's really not that funny at all, it's that fatal underlying current of colonialism that lives in every nook and corner of our lives. Black fish would certainly raise the skeptical eyebrows of even the gullible or the sheep (lol what?), but in a way this is mocking something much bigger, much more serious. Propaganda certainly hits kids the most, it is the reason for all that sub-conscious racism that we all toss aside today!
Oh yeah... since I stole Brandon's idea, I better give him some of my "traffic"; Lord knows it's flowing: thinkoutsidethepun.blogspot.com
21 January 2008
i've decided to "blog." essentially, one of my dear friends recently started one of his own and he's only a lowly writer. if i were to allow him to become more technology-savvy than me, i wouldn't be able to live with myself. that, and i'd like to drive him off the internet with my probable l33t blogging skillz. finally, asayo (a site that i'll be whoring often on here... cough... www.asayocreative.com... cough) might be starting a blog of its own and i should like the practice.
anyone that has enough self-loathing to visit here consistently will most certainly be greeted by the following (besides the apparent angst in my lack of capitalization):
anyone that has enough self-loathing to visit here consistently will most certainly be greeted by the following (besides the apparent angst in my lack of capitalization):
- me complaining about things that irritate me throughout the day
- nerdy technology drivel that no one wants to read
- an occasional social or political rant that is backed by very few reputable sources
- shameless ron paul promotion
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