Final Political Post at 3:38 PM

Because we're going to have plenty of this stuff for the next two months until the election is over, I'm going to make a final post, finally declaring who I will be voting for come November. After this, political rants will be few and far between.

It's certainly not John McCain. The man is simply an out of touch (and I apologize for the harsh language) old fart. It seems like every week there's some new cancerous growth being carved off him like a Thanksgiving ham - I fear by the time the election rolls around there will be nothing left. It is admirable that he doesn't let himself get bogged down by the complexities of the economy, but I don't think it's enough for me.

It's certainly not Barack Obama. We all know he's a charismatic son of a bee, and he seems to have a good head on his shoulders, but I've expressed concern about him from day one. It's not about his religious background or the color of his skin or even his attempts to force his silly Healthcare system upon me. It's definitely not his middle name, either. No, it's actually his first name that scares me. We've all played Mortal Kombat. Would you vote for this?

No, I imagine you would not. Until he appoints Liu Kang as his VP to take him to task, his Blade-conomics don't belong in our White House.

So who does that leave you ask? Only the candidate that has been most steadfast in his beliefs from the start and can truly make a difference in this world. The candidate I will be voting for won't use terrorism to bully us or take away our liberty. If you all followed this candidate as closely as I did, you would all be voting for... nay, worshipping him come November. If it's truly "Change we can believe in" that you want, on November 4th, please support...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.... The Large Hadron Collider!

Let's see Barack Obama recreate conditions that last prevailed when the universe was less than a trillionth of a second old. So what if John McCain has the capability to start World War III... the Large Hadron Collider has the capability to eat the world! On this very day, the Large Hadron Collider initiated the best campaign platform ever witnessed: "Vote for me and I won't create a black hole!" In fact, it's a well known fact that the Large Hadron Collider impregnated Bristol Palin. So go ahead... vote for John McCain... LHC will still have his seed in the White House one way or another.  

Large Hadron Collider 2008