Final blog reboot... at 4:08 PM

...hopefully because I don't plan on having to reboot again. Starting today, I intend to blog at least once a day for one month. Those of you following this blog know what a lofty goal this is and I'm probably just setting myself up for failure. But we're in a recession and, all things considered, blogging will save the world. So that's where we are.

The hope is that after a month of daily blogging, I may be motivated to continue out of habit. Simply by writing that, I made myself realize that it will be the easiest habit I'll have ever broken, but I'm going to give it the old college try anyways.

My safeguard to insure I don't stop blogging again is by indulging my friend at narcissisticnancy.blogspot.com and participating in an activity I typically frown upon: chain surveys. These have become all the rage lately as we show that we don't necessarily know what to write unless we are prompted to write a particular thing. My hope is that by having to participate in the hackery in order to reignite my second-rate exchange of dead-end ideas that go nowhere, I will be discouraged from ever stopping again. So here we go - this particular entry involves writing 14 random things about yourself, though I prefer to call it "11 Reasons More Than Are Necessary to Press Charges".

1. I hate not being included (That was a direct burn and it will be my last one, I promise.)

2. I love sunny, coastal areas and am also fascinated by areas of extreme cold and bitter weather conditions. Somehow, this adds up to me living in a temperate climate that leans towards miserable far more often than it does nice. Worse yet, I have no desire to leave. If this doesn't symbolize my mediocrity, I don't know what will.

3. I hate the damned ampersand. It's so much easier for me to type "and" than to hold shift and wander far, far away from the loving comfort of the home keys. This, however, also leads me to the realization that the ampersand existed before computers or even typewriters were used. Who can draw an accurate ampersand quicker than they can write "and?" What lazy asshole thought writing "and" was too much work? Some mediocre jerk that settled for a temperate climate?

4. I have an affinity for mainstream pop music. I was going to write "well-written mainstream pop music," but I don't even know anymore. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think I have decent musical tastes, ranging from the 60s to modern day and I have gigs upon gigs of music (obtained legally! LEGALLY!) in which I would like to think even the snobbiest of music critics could find SOMETHING to listen to. However, nothing seems to appeal to me more than mainstream pop. More often than not, it's "accepted" mainstream pop - I think Katy Perry, for example wrote some of the best pop songs of 2008. Britney Spears seems to be loved by all, and I share the sentiment. However, I also can't get enough of Miley Cyrus, and anyone that knows me can't argue my unwavering passion for the offspring of Billy Ray (the female one, anyways). Listen to See You Again and tell me it isn't amazingly written, whether or not it was written by HER. Obviously, everyone loves J. Timberlake, but I even go back to the N' Sync days and say Bye Bye Bye is simply incredible... but it is - you won't find a catchier hook. Lately I'm onto that Taylor Swift song, "Love Song" and I don't even know if I can defend that one... I can't even legitimately say it's that good of a song, but I can't stop listening to it. When can this be categorized as a vice?

5. Ron & Fez - Noon to 3 - XM 202

6. In any discussion regarding soda that I am involved in (yes, for some reason, this comes up a lot), two things are bound to happen. The first is that I will bring up Josta. Please comment if you remember Josta. It tasted like bad cherry cough syrup, but I couldn't get enough of it. I feel like my mother, rather than breast-feed, gave me breast-shaped Josta cans when I was a young lad, thus solidifying my love of the sugary treat. The other thing that will happen is someone else will bring up Crystal Pepsi and how it was good and I'll throw up a little in my mouth and die a little more inside. It wasn't good. It was like bad 7-Up. Bad 7-Up from a factory run by yetis... smelly yetis.

7. I once almost choked to death on one of those Necco wafer candies when I was a little boy (well, a young boy... little boy could be used to describe me now). Surprisingly, this didn't sway me from enjoying them. Them tasting like wet dog and having the consistency of old Tums did.

8. I hate ranch dressing... Whoever decided this belongs on salad is hopefully the mother of a boy who likes to step on a lot of cracks. Whoever decided this belongs on chicken, french fries, or fried anything must've had a bum tongue. Whoever decided this belongs on pizza should get together with the Necco wafer guy.

9. I get bored of lists around number 9.

10. I don't think there's such thing as "too early" as far as dark humor goes. There's such thing as being a decent human being and practicing tact as far as who you should expose this dark humor to, but nothing should be directly censored based on it being offensive. This is the speech that is most difficult to protect, but is most important that we do.

11-14. See #9. 10 was bonus.

So there you have it. I'd like to believe I can at least get through the rest of this week before I cave miserably on my goal, so I'd say check back. Can't promise anything interesting, but maybe a picture and a limerick at least.